Mai Kay Kiang

DEAR SHOPPERS, PLEASE READ THE SIGN AND ADHERE TO OUR ADVICE. THE MANAGEMENT OF THIS MALL HAS SEEN MORE THAN ITS FAIR SHARE OF PARTIAL PARALYSES RESULTING FROM SLIP-AND-FALLS (DUE TO WET FLOORS) AND WILL NO LONGER TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR SAFETY/WELL-BEING. THANK YOU.

Old Little Lady

Only 22, but rheumatic from head to toe...

Touting

Promoter: Good afternoon, miss. Would you like to try our new chinaberry concoction? It's passed most FDA tests so far.
Customer: Isn't it, like, poisonous?
Promoter: Only when you ingest without the accompanied antidote, of course.
Customer: What? No, thanks.
Promoter: Shall I get you a value pack? Three bottles for only $66.60. Each.
Customer: I'm leaving. Watch me walk.

Promoter: Do you need a carrier to go with it?

Curry Favor

One of pork chop curry rice5($5.00) and curry chicken noodles5($3.50) can increase your fawning finesse. No harm trying in times of tribulation :-P

Always Revered, Always Remembered

"Like a comet blazing 'cross the evening sky... / Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye..."

Sleep Tight

Slumberland and Sealy Posturepedic® jointly present Summer Sleepathon!

Don't Be Late for School

So, despite the prevalence of the highly communicable H1N1 strain (365 cases and counting), the MOE ain't granting no extension to the June respite (boo hoo!). Well, then, it's back to school for the loafing learners.

Michael Schumacher IS The Stig!

Or...is he really? The unconvincing TOP GEAR revelation, witnessed by over 7 million viewers in Britain, raises many doubts - and questions. But, hey, it does make for good TV!

Crabmicelli

One of the fun things about doing this blog - other than irritating Ally - is inventing words that nobody (else) uses. Who knows? If these words catch on with the public, then I can be credited for coining them in the first place. Patent, patent!

Thirsty? Drink Sweat!

Who needs isotonic thirst quenchers like H-TWO-O or 100plus when one can get his/her lactate and urea fix from Pocari's perspiration punch? Now available in new salty flavors!

Fish Spa

I betcha this special spa session wouldn't be so relaxing and therapeutic for 'Zhang Ziyi' here if these fishes were, erm, flesh-eating piranhas...

KNNBCCB

"Call me Catapult Horns, Funnel Ears or Knob Nose and I'm gonna get medieval on your ass!"

Mr. Curry

Fact check: Mr. Curry by Waraku is Japan's high-concept answer to the kah lee png I just ate this afternoon (subsequent to my unscheduled consultation at Outram Polyclinic). Never known the soy sauce savoring and wasabi worshipping Jipunese to be curry fiends like us, do you?

The Giant Squid~~~~~

Most of us laymen would think that sharks and whales are barons of the briny deep, but do you know that even these seafaring creatures fear getting devoured by the monstrous giant squid - that is, as far as mythology's concerned? I'm daring Oh Dae-su to scarf this one down!

Stick Girl

"Now, where's that weight-gaining wonder grain that can put some flab onto my slab?"

SI Returns

The third and latest season of SINGAPORE IDOL once again takes flight this National Day after a three-year hiatus (they probably wanted to give Hardy time to become as famous as Taufik, which obviously didn't happen). Everything else, though, is more predictable - from host Gurmit Singh to resident judges Dick Lee, Florence Lian and Ken Lim.

What kind of caliber can we expect this time round? Our own version of Susan Boyle, perhaps?

Over 'Bu'

What happens when someone overdoses on, say, Hock Hua Tonic products? Will overnourishment occur? The older folks may disagree, but "potentially toxic and carcinogenic compounds such as arsenic trioxide and cinnabar are sometimes prescribed as part of a medicinal mixture, in a sense 'using poison to cure poison'."

The Band

Can't decide which is more disturbing - a homelander displaying an islander's motif on his lower leg, or that icky piece of dried skin hangin' loose on his heel. See it??

Kaleidoscope: A Musical Journey of Doris Cen

"Explore the music of guzheng (Chinese zither) with one of Singapore's most established musicians Doris Cen, who's performed in a number of chamber music concerts here since her return from the China Conservatory of Music in 2007. She's also recorded for Iskandar Ismail for Chingay 2009 and is currently on the panel of adjucators for the Ministry of Education Music Camp." (Paraphrased from Internet)

P/S: We met up once several years ago after a brief acquaintance on mIRC and lost touch thereafter. Looks like she's been busy!

The Kallang Louvre

robert langdon wasted precious time coming here...

Living Out Loud

Dunno many friends who live life with more zest and vigor - and actually blog about it more frequently - than Dee the (Ah)mad lover.

Goin' UP

Peer into this telescope and get a glimpse of Disney/Pixar's latest animated adventure UP. For the record, the flying house tale has already ballooned away with close to US$200 million in only its third week of wide theatrical release.

Gorilla Monsoon

Things I remember about late WWF wrestler-turned-announcer Robert James ‘Gino’ Marella:
● His tinted shades and male-pattern-baldness head.
● His infectious camaraderie with Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura and Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan.
● His verbiage of (unnecessarily) complex terminologies like ‘external occipital protuberance’ (read: ‘back of the head’).
● His laughably less-than-vicious chops to the chest of Vader.

Dance of Love

Every step we take, it's one step clYser to our sweet hereafter.

Mandy's Mugshot

Name of Suspect: Mandy Tan
Age: 7 years 8 months
Sex: Female / Status: Spayed, unemployed

Species: Feline / Religion: Sphinxism
Height: 30 cm / Weight: 4.5 kg
Coat: Black / Eyes: Yellow
Appearance: Cute / Disposition: Proud
Charge: Urinating outside of litter pan

Proposed Sentence: No fresh prawns for two meals

David Carradine (1936 – 2009)

Bill's gone. The Bride didn't kill him. Neither did tobacco. Autoerotic asphyxia did.

Kuah Si Mi?

What could Kar Hui possibly be gawking at?

(1) A multiple-vehicle collision.

(2) Fisticuffs among AWARE members.

(3) An altercation between two anchovy sellers.

(4) Someone dropping a packet of iced Horlicks drink.

(5) Absolutely nothing. (He just looks 'blur'.)

#3

Hang on to your straw hats, all you 3 Togolese tourists! It takes only 3 minutes and 3 seconds for this shuttle bus to reach Terminal 3 of Changi Airport, now ranked #3 in the world (screw Skytrax). Meanwhile, you can re-watch the trailer to TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES.

YES!

Accompanied the apathetic 'Axe Wielder' to Singapore Polytechnic for the 11th Young Entrepreneurship Challenge, which saw Dunman Secondary School emerge winners with their thoughtful innovation, the 'Kool-rutches'. Congrats and way to go, Dunmanites!

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Bidet

Definition of Bidet: A low basin-like bathroom fixture, usually with spigots, used for bathing the genital and perineal areas.
Definition of Bridget: A girl who uses a bidet on a regular basis.

Stilt Support

Singapore has her propagandistic five pillars of Total Defence - namely in Military, Civil, Economic, Social and Psychological. Centennia Suites' showflat at Kim Seng Promenade flaunts an even firmer foothold. Should be a hot sell, sia!

The Amazing Race

Never heard her sing or seen any of her works in films and commercials (save for the morose AB-NORMAL BEAUTY), but 26-year-old Race Wong, who's one-half of the Malaysian-born and Hong Kong-based Cantopop act 2R, has impressed me enough to warrant her a blog entry.

Navigator

Helmsmen, steersmen and wheelsmen, please follow me this way. On Level 10's a special exhibition gallery, where we showcase some minor spoils (e.g. gold dentures) from the last maritime expedition. Feel free to browse!

Minnie's Manifesto

Too bad you're not her.

Acronyms

3HBD (Highly Dangerous Buildings)

DHL (Deliver Halfway Lost)

ERP (Everyday Rob People)

PAP (Pay And Pay)

PUB (Pay Until Broke)

SAF (Serve And Forget)

BATA (Buy And Throw Away)

What Are They Telling Us?

This spectacular pair of crop circles sighted in the U.K. - first the5'Jellyfish' in Oxfordshire and then the6'Dragonfly' in Yatesbury - prompts us to think: If they were indeed the work of aliens (and not some nuts with too much time on their hands), then what're we supposed to make of them? 'Save the world'?

Save Money, Go Far

In truth, not that far. To Batam or Bintan, at most? Just like how the Singapore dollar can't give you much returns in value here - what with the high cost of living and such. Save up for a rainy day? It's always pouring! We need another relief package - pronto!

Ambitions

1974

Father: Boy, I'm telling you. If you don't study hard, next time you'll be a road sweeper like Uncle Muthu.

Son: But what's wrong with being a road sweeper?

Father canes his son.

1984

Son: Look, pa! I got my road sweeping license!

Father disowns his son.

2009

Son is founder and CEO of the region's largest sanitation company. His father sweeps his office every morning.

Don't Forget the Lines

Didn't used to like/watch WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? (maybe due to regulator Drew Carey) and what a dimwit I was! If you're game for spontaneity and unscripted comedy, then you definitely won't be disappointed!

Dreamland

Where the sun is a lollipop and clouds are made of cotton candy. There is a rainbow and at the other end of it there is a door that opens to a classroom. Inside, there are many kids running around and a teacher screams: "WAKE UP, ROSINAH!"

Salbia Gave Saya Guni

I know how wrong the title sounds, but that's not what I meant. At any rate, Mr. Weak Knees here could certainly use some 'high calcium, high protein, low fat' MariGold murk to start his day off :-D

Google Earth

They (ref: B. J. Habibie) say the tiny island city-state of Singapore is but a little red dot on the world map, and that little red dot in the middle of this Keyhole superimposition must surely be our Istana?

All seriousness aside, where should we zoom in for fat naked couples making out on sunny rooftops?

Playthangs (PG)

Leveraging on the GSS season (milk the MasterCard!) and June school vacation (toss the tutorial!), the Gazebo Group returns with another themed fête - this time focusing on pubes and their obliging parents. Amongst the more interesting items here include a buy-one-get-two-free set of blow-up boy-toy dolls perfect for weekend foursomes.

Faith Healing

Skepticism and scenes from THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW inevitably overwhelm me whenever one mentions faith healing. In some religions (and Spiritualism), these 'miracle cures' have been employed by so-called 'faith (fraud?) healers' to eradicate sufferers of bodily ailments ranging from blindness and paraplegia to AIDS and cancer! Wow, so why haven't all the GPs and surgeons in the world lost their livelihood to Benny Hinn (pictured above) and others yet?

Orh Loo Loo

It takes a treble of 'planetary alignments', really, for a photo of this crepuscule to be captured: the lomantik lighting at VivoCity's Food Republic (don't get me started on the unruly seat-choping crowd), the black un-'mini-wok'-like bowl, and the black pepper chap itself. At least it tastes better than it looks - and that's assertion enough.

Interpreting Art

> entangled boomerangs? <

Why Them??

I've been monitoring FEEDJIT's live traffic on my blog for sometime now and noticing a rather peculiar recurrence – that is, a decent number of visitors who 'land' on .: Photo Finish :. actually do so via pages on Olivia Ong (top right) and especially Lara Veronin (top left). But, please tell me, why them of all people??