Look Behind You!

Will Gale fall prey to the latest series of Woodsboro stabbings? Who's got a knife to grind with Sidney this time round? Watch SCRE4M to find out! I did :-D

THOR

Tell me this isn't just a movie about some angry guy who wields a hammer (and is not afraid to use it on anyone who pisses him off)?

Diesel vs Rock

Vinny may be a bigger Hollywood star than Rocky (who looks good with goatee), but in real life the latter will likely whip his Jabroni ass before he can even say FAST FIVE.

A Small Winner

So the 83rd Academy Awards was more predictable than a prudent accountant's balance sheets, with The Weinstein Company's THE KING'S SPEECH scooping 4 Oscars instead of sweeping the competition clean (considering it was contending in 12 categories). Roger Ebert even went as far as lambasting the lackluster hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway.

Colin Firth, on the other hand, was crowned Best Actor - but who could remember him in FEVER PITCH?

It's a Great Great Mess

With all due respect to Mr. Kelvin Tong, who directed the okayable RULE #1 (and, of course, THE MAID), his latest offering IT'S A GREAT GREAT WORLD is anything but. Another classic case of too many cooks spoiling the broth? That Aunty Lucy character was totally obligatory.

HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS

5Microcosmos: Professor Wayne Szalinski (Rick Moranis) discovers it's not just his 'thinking couch' that he successfully shrunk.

Joe (JUMANJI, JURASSIC PARK III) Johnston's directorial debut was a thoroughly likeable family fare that tells the story of a struggling inventor who, as the movie title suggests, accidentally shrinks his kids to 1/4 of an inch by means of an electromagnetic ray. Most of the comedy's ensuing adventures take place in the backward of their house, which instantly becomes a vast 'jungle' populated by 'giant' ants and scorpions. Some sad moments, but a lot of fun!

So Bad It's...Bad

What business did Hollywood stalwarts Sylvester Stallone, Whoopi Goldberg and Jackie Chan have in this Golden Raspberry turkey helmed by the pseudonym Alan Smithee? Absolutely none!

Harry Potter and the Half-Heart(ed) Kiss

I say, if Hairy Potter's gonna remain so wishy-washy about who to snog (Ginny or Hermoine?), then let me do it! Seriously, I wouldn't mind either :-P

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

Horror junkies who somehow didn't find themselves adequately unsettled at the first PA outing (suggesting they must be asleep or heavily sedated) can step into this spine-chilling 'sequel' (which is mostly a prequel) all but guaranteed to make skin crawl. Again.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

5Music of the night: All Christine (Emma Rossum) asks of Erik (Gerard Butler) is that he not break into random Spartan mode all of a sudden.

Through countless reincarnations over the generations (most notably the celebrated Broadway/West End musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber), French auteur Gaston Leroux's 1920 gothic novel has stood the test of time and seen its protagonist's stylish face mask reduce in size with each updation. By the time Joel Schumacher got to it in 2004, barely half was left. Maybe the disfigurement ain't that bad to begin with?

Mr. Pink's Theory on Tipping

"I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, I mean I'll tip if someone really deserves a tip, but (if) they really put forth the effort I'll give them something extra. But I mean this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job." - Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi)

IP MAN

5Karate chop: Hong Kong action star Donnie Yen in his most commercially successful role to date.

It's often said that fact is stranger than fiction, but for the case of venerable martial artist Yip Man (1893-1972) it's his glorious and galvanizing 'semi-biographical' (read: fictional) story that lifts the Wing Chun master from Foshan, Guangdong, above the otherwise perceived ordinariness of an opium addict practicing on a wooden dummy.

Don't get me wrong, for I'm full of respect for Bruce Lee's sifu - but mainly because the recent films depict him as an indefatigable folk hero in the ranks of Wong Fei-hung and Huo Yuanjia. This only goes to prove (further) that movie-making has its way of taking liberties with a subject matter and, if done correctly, turning gallium into gold.

THE EXPENDABLES

AUSTIN ● COUTURE ● LUNDGREN ● LI ● STALLONE ● STATHAM ● CREWS ● ROURKE ● WILLIS
...but where are
CHAN ● EASTWOOD ● HAUER ● JOHNSON ● NORRIS ● RUSSELL ● SEAGAL ● SNIPES ● VAN DAMME
?

My Favorite Movie Studio

NOT SO MUCH BECAUSE IT MADE MY FAVORITE MOVIE TITANIC, BUT MORE LIKE BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF HOLLYWOOD'S OLDEST STUDIOS. THE CLASSIC 3D LOGO WITH MOVING SEARCHLIGHTS, THE FAMOUS ORCHESTRATED FANFARE. ENOUGH SAID.

Welcome Back, Ghostface

Father Death will be making his long awaited return to Woodsboro next spring and start another murder spree - only this time, nobody is safe (not even the mainstays).

THE LAST AIRBENDER

Director M. Night Shyamalan's big-screen, live-action, 2D-to-3D rendition of Nickelodeon's popular animated series AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER got off on the wrong foot by miscasting a white boy (Noah Ringer, above) in the distinctively Asian role of Aang, the main protagnist. Now, there are also complaints of stiff dialogue and poor acting. What else can go wrong?

From Karate to Kung Fu

Bask in '80s nostalgia as THE KARATE KID gets a reboot and is now refashioned to become a worthy star vehicle for Jaden Smith (taking over the underdog role by Ralph Macchio). Jackie Chan, as his shifu, also takes over the sensei part made famous by the late Pat Morita - even paying homage to Mr. Miyagi's "wax on, wax off" with his own "shirt on, shirt off".

Look Who's Coming to Breakfast

Why, if it isn't that mean green ogre from the Far Far Away swamp who's 'kitchen krashing' for some nutritious Koko Krunch by Nestlé.

Mia Wallace's 冷 笑 话

"A poppa tomato, a momma tomato and a baby tomato are walkin' along. The baby tomato starts laggin' behind, so the poppa tomato goes back and squishes him and says: KETCHUP!"

- Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) in PULP FICTION

Full Battle Order

Director Jon Favreau's US$200 million superhero sequel to his 2008 Marvel smash promises double the bots (with Iron Man teaming up with War Machine), double the booties (check out Gwyneth Paltrow and an unbelievably curvaceous Scarlett Johansson) and double the badasses (with Justin Hammer enlisting the help of Ivan Vanko AKA Whiplash).

The square-off at the Monaco race track will go down as one of the best ever.