Triple J

Let's not speculate if this Honda belongs to the Johor Sultanate (these alphanumeric codes should be hard to obtain?), or if the owner's trying to one-up Double J/Triple H. One thing's for sure: the weather's so damn freaking hot these days I swear I can drink distilled water from car batteries!

Marina Bay Sands

Now that Singapore's first casino at Resorts World Sentosa's taken off and turning out to be a success, all eyes and ears are on the upcoming (April) opening of the second IR, tendered by Sheldon Adelson's Las Vegas Sands, at Marina South. Will it attract as many international high rollers to the tables? More importantly, will the minimum entry levy of $100 be imposed on locals as well?

This Way ↓ to Jln Kukoh

'going down to chinatown' means absolutely nothing compared to this

Quaich Bar

The Whiskey Store @ Waterfront Plaza comes complete with a full-service Quaich (pronounced 'quake') Bar that pubbers can rejoice about. In the best of spirits, let's all trounce the tiger curse and revel in a year of beer!

Jim Sparrow

Whatever possessed our dear Jimmy boy to Photoshop his mien - puckered lips and all - over Sexiest Man Alive Johnny Depp's? And what audacity! As his friend Desmond Tan commented: "Disgusting...". Wakaka!

The Architecture of Batam

The last - but not least - of my Sekupang series (it's a stretch, I know). Nonetheless, the islanders should be thanking me for being their self-appointed 'tourism ambassador' :-D

5One of the better kept domiciles in this pantai (i.e. beach) area, or perhaps it's just newer. We were told that to own a property here doesn't cost (Singaporeans) a whole lot.

5 A scaled-(down-)to-size pavilion - only 1 of 32, representing Indonesia's different provinces - at the famed miniature park. Very beautifully crafted, innit?

5Golden Prawn 933 Seafood Restaurant (we had our lunch over here at the identical 555). What a great appetite booster, eh? Gotta soak in all that rustic kelong feel!

5The site for the traditional Kuda Lumping cultural dance and 'special feats' performance such as peeling coconut husks with teeth and eating glass. Tipping is welcome.

5An ultra ulu - not to mention squalid - shanty town right at the doorstep of our **** hotel! Unbelievable. People live here? How?

Mega Memory

There used to be a time when this twit would be totally entranced by infomercial salesman Kevin Trudeau's Mega Memory technique through 'demonstrations' done on his Sell-A-Vision spots. As it turned out, the guy's nothing but a fraud! Good thing I didn't buy any of those audio tapes.

Fate of the Tiger

As most Chinese are au courant, tigers are offending the Tai Sui (太 岁) this new lunar year. And if we - that's right, I'm one too - don't try to pacify them (by going through a prayer session), then we'll be plagued by bad luck and ill fortune for the entire year. Sighhh...

Coaching English

Shouldn't it read "EXCEPT FOR COACHES" or "COACHES ONLY"? This is the problem when you want to have the pie and eat it too. You can't always have the best of both worlds. No need to be verbose. Simple does it.

Natural Disasters

The colossal teaming of Earthquake and Typhoon (formerly Tugboat) weighed in at a combined 852 lb and recorded 10 on the Richter scale, but - with all due respect to the 1x tag team champions - that running seated senton (with the receiver lifting his chest up a little to sell the impact of the move) looked plain silly.

The Culture of Batam

Indonesia being a predominantly Javanese and Sudanese nation, it's interesting to note that a sizable portion of Batam's 988,555 population is Chinese. As such, Buddhism and Taosim are broadly practiced on this 715-km² island (not that Pastor Rony Tan would care).

5The largest Kwan Im statue in these parts (overlooking the ocean at Tanjung Pinggir) - reportedly shipped over from Singapore by an opulent donor/patron. At 23 meters, it's more impressive when you're really there.

5Another Goddess of Mercy statue - this time with a 'thousand' arms. (Cut the sculptor some slack, will ya?)

5Giant joss sticks greeting devotees and visitors alike at the Tua Pek Kong temple. Love the design and colors!

5Characters from Journey to the West: Monkey (Sun Wukong), Tripitaka (Xuanzang), Sandy (Sha Wujing)and Pig (Zhu Bajie). Which is your favorite? :-)

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

When I was young and gullible, it always struck me as strange how scientist Dr. Bruce Banner could transform into the Incredible Hulk when stressed, enraged or excited, burst through his clothes, and then - when returned to human form - retain his original pair of trousers. With that said, actor Lou Ferrigno was menacing-to-the-max as the mean green monster.

Oarfish

Granted that this is no crypto-zoological discovery, but the oar-fish, which is the longest bony fish in the world (and a probable source of many sea serpent tales), is still pretty darn scary when caught up close. The king of herrings can even grow up to a length of 17 meters!

Batam Series

There was so much to see, hear and taste in one of Riau Archipelago's most famous islands. The following are just some of the sights captured. More to come in the Culture and Architecture series :-)

5Didn't hop onto one of these gearboxes as the heat was unbearable. I have tried go-karting at Singapore's Escape Theme Park, though, and it was fun!

5Our venue for lunch (after some guided city shopping and gallivanting). We were served a variety of seafood like crabs, fish, prawns, snails (nerites), squid...and water spinach (kang kong)??

5Close-by the restaurant was a masculine-looking mermaid (check out those Spock ears) who had lost her girdle.

5Tortoises symbolize longevity, which was why we could see a creep of them here in this pond.

5The view outside Golden View Hotel, our 4-star lodging provider for the night. Trishaws are also a popular mode of transportation for tourists back at home.

5Wild animals in captivity is not uncommon in Indonesia. Besides monkeys, we saw caged eagles, pythons, squirrels and a monitor lizard. Poor things!

WAY in Advance

By the time this post shows up, I'll already be at HarbourFront Ferry Terminal, getting ready to board my 45-minute ride to Batam. That's right, today's entry - and the preceding days', for that matter - has been written way in advance on Tuesday evening. I know, it's like a time capsule, and I have no choice.

Be back tomorrow (to tweak whatever that needs to be tweaked)! TTFN!

extra

Rent-a-Lorry

We're glad this lorry rental service comes with a driver. Does it come with a steering wheel, as well? Then again, not everyone's adept at operating a 6-tonner. For $50, we just don't wish to wind up with some Pek Tiong Choon trailer trash.

eat or study?

Unmistakably conscientious, yet considerably un-McFriendly. There's not even a drink on the table to boot!

Elfaeza Ul Haq

billions of secrets beneath the surface of this pupil...

The Taming of a Minx

Every cat owner should know that kitties love to be massaged on the back of their necks. There's a large area of 'loose' flesh that can be 'grabbed' without causing pain - and it's precisely this Archilles' heel that allows a minx like Mandy to be tamed. See? It works!

Here's One!

What with all the talk about missing supermarket trolleys (no thanks to inconsiderate shoppers), I managed to uncover one - rusted almost beyond recognition - chucked away in an obscure corner under the adjacent block of flats. How did it get there? Do you have to ask? That's the Price for playing Fair; next time, simply employ handcuffs.

Paullyn

A tomboy that she used to be, Pauwinn (photographed here with her patently enlisted partner Zax) has now become so much more feminine. Like the hair and bangle. I wonder if she's still as pally with Kelly and Amelia...

Ready to Rove

Saw THE BLIND SIDE yesterday. In it, Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) buys her new family member Michael Ohers (Quinton Aaron) a rover (much like the one pictured here) - only to have him wreck it on his first ride out. In Singapore, one does need to pass stringent theory and practical tests before granted a driver's license.

Sauna

metrosexuals will find plenty of steam in this finnish bathhouse

extra

TKD

Despite being South Korea's national sport, I doubt Porn Vader will be forgoing Muay Thai and MMA for taekwondo anytime soon. And for fantasy warfare's sake, how will TKD trainer Charles Valentine stack up against the likes of Yodsanklai Fairtex or even Randy Couture? Hmm...

I Love You, Gimme Ang Pao

It's the first time in fifty years that Valentine's Day is coinciding with the first day of the Lunar New Year. Are we thinking heart-shaped ang paos and chocolate-flavored tarts?

extra

Free Sam!

This is our final appeal to the highest court of law and justice: Exonerate Samuel Farmer from wrongful incarceration! He's not guilty of involuntary manslaughter and has an alibi to prove it. Furthermore, we've also identified and apprehended the culprit who was trying to frame him for the crime he didn't commit.

Bumpers

p The sort that regulates your heartbeat - "lub-dub, lub-dub, ..." v

Shall We Dance?

Nong before Adrian Pang could speak fluent Mandarin or Anna Belle Francis married Sheikh Haikel, well, 12 years ago to be precise, the duo dazzled the dance floor in Glen Goei's grossly underrated disco drama FOREVER FEVER - a film I enjoyed enough to evoke once in a while. Also featuring a never-was Medaline Tan and pre-kidney-donating Pierre Png.

SBC Food Court

At the poorly ventilated basement of Orchard Towers on a typical work morning. It's pretty vacant for now, but things are expected to take a drastic turn once incapable Gillian's/Jillian's Thano is displaced by enterprising Fei Por's Chopstix come end February. I, for one, am not gonna patronize that grande dame!

THE MUPPET SHOW

Wasn't aware that there are so many characters on THE MUPPET SHOW! 'Kay, who do I know? Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and the two old men occupying the box seat. Gazing at the puppets, howbeit, I'm beginning to remember most of 'em now :-D

Fu Dao

The Chinese believe in hanging the 福 sign upside down (correctly spelled as 'dom-balek' in Melayu?) because fú dǎo sounds similar to fú dào, which means arrival of happiness. Yes, we're a superstitious bunch, but sometimes it's best to abide by tradition.

Cosmetic Surgery

Or plastic surgery, as it's more commonly referred to. Read a recent report regarding this Chinese woman who wanted desperately to go under the knife so that she could look like Jessica Alba and with hopes that her ex-boyfriend - an Alba infatuator - would reconcile with her. The extremes people will go to for a makeover!

Satay @ Food Street

A speciality/signature dish of Sate Ponorogo, an East Javan town in Indonesia, satay is grilled marinated chicken served with peanut sauce. In Singapore, there's a greater variety of such skewered meats - from duck and fish to pork and mutton. Chinatown's Smith Street (AKA Food Street), in particular, hawks this popular delicacy for $0.60 per stick. Have a sampling?

Speech & Drama

The local performing arts scene is far from flourishing. Julia Gabriel and Lorna Whiston may be doing their part in rolling out speech and drama classes, but more can certainly be done. Why not rope in our our former staffer, playwright and director Dean Lundquist, to help spice things up?

LOST 6

I gotta truthfully admit, I've completely lost the plot of LOST since, like, three seasons ago? Sorry, but it used to be my favorite TV show - along with UGLY BETTY - until MediaCock Channel 5 bumped it to unholy hours on the fringe of midnight. Anywhore, for the final installment of J. J. Abrams' invention, there'll be not only flashbacks and flash-forwards, but also 'flash-sideways' - not that I could keep up n-ways!

Ooh...Kumar!

From the Boom Boom Room to Gold Dust and now to The Esplanade, Singapore's most famous drag queen/cross-dresser is taking his/her salacious brand of comedy to the big stage. Will there be any sneak previews for Kumar fans at 3 Monkeys Café?