Just Doing My Job

Was (cold) calling up one Zuraidah Suleiman of Tanah Merah Kechil Road yesterday as part of my daily telemarketing duties – I know, such unwelcome pests we are – when the snobbish biatch barked at me: "You can forget about it." Hello? Like I love to TCSS with you. A simple "I'm not interested (anymore)" would suffice, makcik.

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Porky Plague

Ever since the contagious Mexican swine flu A (H1N1) broke into the scene, Singapore's pandemic alert level has been raised from green to yellow. Khaw & Kompany over at MOH had better do sumfin' about it before the WHO decides to quarantine us altogether. On that same note, business for PorKee's frozen pork has been on the slide (and not surprisingly so).

Make Him Syiok

It's not at all easy masquerading around as Korean megastar Rain (or James Lye, for that matter). For this pathological phony, a full-body massage takes the pain out of Spain (just for rhymes!) and makes the man feel...ahh...so shiok!

Demonic Possession

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Whether it's Regan or Emily or that young Muslim girl on YouTube, demonic possession is only as real as your belief in Go(o)d and (D)evil. Let's be honest, you can't have one and not the other. If there's a Heaven, then there's a Hell - no two ways about it.

"Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the Twelve." - Luke 22:3

Porcuplant

who's gettin' touchy-feely in this prickly heat?

Thickburger

If the taglines to Carl's Jr.'s new 100% Angus Beef Thickburger™ (read: "Be careful where you shove this thing" and "Some like it long. But most love it thick.") are anything to go by, then consumers may be in for a rude awakening.

TOTAL RECALL

5Get a grip: Ahnuld, as Douglas Quaid, regrets signing up for the 'ego trip'.

Back in the day when Blu-ray wasn't as commonplace as Frappuccino, I got my dose of caffeine the old-fashioned way - via VHS. Paul Verhoeven's uber-cool sci-fi thriller TOTAL RECALL was one I visited several times under such circumstances.
But because my memory's now as dusty as the cassette itself, all I can recollect from those viewings are a fugly woman mask (that mechanically opens), a broad with three breasts, and a mutant that grows out of someone's abdomen. (Yes, I tend to remember such things, instead :-S)

$ X▲

Check out those currency symbols. How many can you identify? I swear some of them must've been invented by Al Marikkan to impress the Wachowskis - only he doesn't have them trickling down...

'scuse

...and don't be a hindrance to hawny heteros looking for a public quicky. 'Auto' a bit, lah.

THE LITTLEST HOBO

"There's a voice that keeps on calling me / Down the road, that's where I'll always be / Every stop I make, I make a new friend / Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again / Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down / Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on..."

Blame Sumatra

with gusty winds measuring up to 83 kmh, anything can happen, dey...

Pill Popper

Down with bouts of diarrhoea and fever a coupla days ago. Prescribed with Loperamil for my LS, Hyomide (hope it's nothing to do with cyanide) for my abdominal pains and the usual Paracetamol for my huat sio. Didn't take any of 'em, though. Prefer natural healing. Haha.

Susan Boyle

When Susan Boyle took to the stage at the April 11 studio audition of BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT with those frumpy locks and that (fitting) 'aunty' dress, no one expected her to sing the way she did.
Wowing the initially cynical/skeptical live audience and eliciting unanimous praises from judges Piers Morgan ("The biggest 'Yes' I have ever given"), Amanda Holden ("It was a complete privilege listening to that") and Simon Cowell ("You are a little tiger, aren't you?") with her uplifting rendition of I Dreamed a Dream from Les Misérables, the unemployed 47-year-old Scot (and now overnight worldwide sensation) has proven - once again - that a book should never be judged by its cover.

Chair Choper

Bent on securing the best seat in town for the ironically felinized inter-pretation of Broadway's CATS hours before showtime, but can't seem to beat the sweltering heat nor the abominable z monster.

Recoil

AsiaMalls Management must be grinning from ear to ear as I type, not because its newly opened Tampines 1 boasts a 100% lease occupancy or that the $450 million "loft-style" suburban mall has been attracting huge crowds for two straight weekends (did you spot those queues at Manpuku and UNIQLO?), but...actually, it's precisely due to these reasons!

P/S: The above Recoil polo shirt was also purchased there.

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Priya

she of the color-coordinated wardrobe

Lockers

Tweeny-boppers, listen up! Here's your chance to walk away with a Zac Efron-autographed HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL soundtrack. Simply guess which locker it's been placed in. (The rest contain carnivorous vermin.) Choose wisely and carefully!

Heart of the Ocean?

Rose Dawson may have 'accidentally' dropped the Heart of the Ocean back into the cold depths of the Atlantic, but look who's got it now? Asprey & Garrard can eat their hearts out!

Drama on High Seas

What're Obama and Clinton gonna do about the piracy situation over at Somalia? Simple. Just summon the Kraken!

Hogan in the Middle

It's not easy being the middle child. Just ask Malcolm. Same goes with pets. Whilst Uncle Jerry's most respected and Princess Mandy's most doted upon, Hogan Somebody (he doesn't even have a birthday!) is often neglected. Gotta sayang him more!

Maryse

This cropped, candid shot of reigning WWE Divas Champion Maryse (oh, what a name!) has A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E written all over it. No wonder company officials are so high up on her right now.

Desperately Needs Brand's

It's not that I'm succumbing to fatigue at work (from scrutinizing parental forums and all), but it appears I'm running low on photo stock for this blog - again!

P/S: This pic wasn't even intended to be medium-sized in the first place, but who cares?

Carrefour Croissant

Nandhri, Ms. Maygalai!

"Da-Doo"

We can't decide which is odder - that a giant Venus Flytrap named Audrey II can talk and is voiced by Motown singer Levi Stubbs (in the 1986 movie version), or that the movie itself (LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS) is a musical.

Breakfast with Kylie

Jio-ed KL for McDonald's breakfast last Saturday. She SMS-ed saying she'd be slightly late and asked me to go ahead first, so I proceeded to dig into my Big Breakfast™ and enjoy its "freshly scrambled eggs set aside a sizzling sausage, perfectly crisp hashbrowns and mouth-watering toasted muffins" (something wrong with the sentence?). Mm…I'm lovin' it, nevertheless.

SPL

I've read some weird shit in my time, but this one kinda tops it all. As posted on Fantoms & Munsters, "a 64-year-old woman (who suffered a stroke a few days earlier) has reported to doctors at Geneva University Hospital the presence of a pale, milky-white and translucent third arm". This rare but credible - and clinically proven - neurological phenomenon is known as a supernumerary phantom limb (SPL). Apparently, the said woman "can use the apparitional extremity to relieve very real itches on the cheek", although it cannot penetrate solid objects. Not sure if this should be filed under 'sad' or 'scary'.

Washington Education Group

Where George, Denzel and Isaiah got their big break. Lame as a limping llama, I know.

The EleVation

Blame it on the erratic clime, because five moons flew by after The ErecTion and one can still hardly detect any discernible progress in this effortful 'Edge Dee Bee' exploit. Looks like those bus-hopping Chinamen had betta step up their game and put a can on it before the pesky locusts come a-swarmin'. Just kidding!

Naoto Takenaka

Derek Yee's SHINJUKU INCIDENT saw action star Jackie Chan in his "most compelling" dramatic turn and Daniel Wu as a handless/scar-faced golliwogg, but the real show stealer for me was veteran Japanese actor Naoto Takenaka (whom I remember most vividly in the madcap comedy WATERBOYS). That chiseled face and world-weary look spell 'character', aiight.

UnReaL

something from a pushpa gardening playset?

Old Camera

This obsolete (Leica?) camera, now a permanent display item at the Donors' Collections section on Level 10 of the National Library, has probably seen the days of Singapore's breakaway from Malaya and her subsequent squalls of "Merdeka!"...

Hotel 81

You can defend its 'decency' to your grave, but in my personal opinion Hotel 81 is the apotheosis of sleaze. I mean, isn't this the place horny businessmen bring social escorts to for one night stands? "We spare no efforts to meet your essential needs", indeed. How about some free supplies of condom?

Mr. Fong

Meet Mr. Fong Kok Hoong, my friend of fourteen years. First met him during Semester 2 of my freshman year in NUS. Last read on his Multiply journal, he's currently teaching at an undisclosed Catholic school. Hope all's well and catch up again soon!

Inle Myanmar Restaurant

Appetizers

(Above left): Golden century egg salad. Quite frankly, the tastiest of the lot. Only gripe: the white ain't 'golden' as much as 'twas the usual/typical dark brown. Tio pian.

(Above right): Fried gourd salad. The exterior's really hot & crispy, but the interior...well, it's just juicy gourd wedge. Makes one feel...I dunno, detached?

Main

(Above left): Mohinga. Burmese mee siam sorta sums it up. Best thing about it - the egg. Ahem.

(Above right): Myanmar fried kway teow. Not too far off from the Chinese version, which is a compliment.

Dessert

Hsanwin makin, or semolina cake. If you don't fancy coconut, stay away from this.

17-0

With this thunderous Tombstone piledriver heard by 73,000 fans across the Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas, the Undertaker forever sealed the fate of valiant opponent Shawn Michaels and extended his amazing undefeated streak at WrestleMania to 17-0.
As the Showstopper found out the hard way, it is virtually impossible to overturn the Phenom's peerless legacy on the biggest night and grandest stage of the WWE – and he is not alone; 16 others had fallen before him in similar fashion…

1. Jimmy Snuka
2. Jake Roberts
3. Giant Gonzales
4. King Kong Bundy
5. Diesel
6. Sycho Sid
7. Kane
8. Big Boss Man
9. Triple H
10. Ric Flair
11. Big Show & A-Train
12. Kane (2nd time)
13. Randy Orton
14. Mark Henry
15. Batista
16. Edge

Farquhar's Friend

not paul newman; not michael caine; it's sir thomas stamford bingley raffles - or tommy...

It's a Wrap!

"And...CUT! Good scene! Great emoting from both leads! I especially love the snot bubbles. AD stand by second unit! DP roll film! PA get me my omasum sandwich! We're burning the midnight oil on this one!"

Wonder Girls

They're South Korean music mogul Park Jin-young's pet project. Aged between 16 and 20, this all-girl pop group was launched by Park's JYP Entertainment on Valentine's Day 2007.

With 2 Daesangs ('Artist of the Year' awards) and 3 consecutive #1 hit singles - Tell Me, So Hot and Nobody - under their belt, the Wonder Girls are all set to make their North American debut in May 2009.

You're Welcome

A lil' token of appreciation from Mdm Wong Siu Lan (who?) of H.K. after I attended to her and gave the nice (slightly elderly) lady a ten-cent tour of our training and preschool facilities*. Even if she decides to enrol with my '2nd uncle' Collin Tee, her unexpected gesture was enough to make my day.

*Thanks, Amy, for the hand disinfectant!

The Cobbler

Can cobbling (or shoemaking) be considered a dying trade here in 新-gapore? At least, I'm referring to those transportable 'service stations' by the roads or along pathways. Fotog Willy Foo may want to capture this cordwaining craft on polyester before it perishes altogether.

HARPER'S ISLAND

Described as a meld of SCREAM and Ten Little Indians, this premiering horror/mystery, a midseason replacement by CBS, should appeal to fans of Agatha Christie. I guess I'll catch it, too, like I did MURDER IN A SMALL TOWN X.

InterContinental Hotel

"A unique landmark in the heart of historic Bugis, InterContinental is Singapore's only Peranakan-inspired luxury hotel."

Since we can't discern that from its featureless facade, we'll just have to take the Babas' word for it.

The Evolution of ASIMO

Honda's Gen-XI humanoid robot ASIMO (Advanced Step in Innovative MObility) is capable of recognizing movements, postures, facial expressions and environmental terrains. Standing at 1.3 m and weighing 54 kg, the backpacking astronaut can be yours for hire at US$166,000 per year.

MOE Building

So this is where all those hard-lined education regimes and policies are instituted. The building itself is the face of implacable fortitude.