You Speed, You Die

Do more than 50, you die. Don't signal, you die. You drive, you die. Basically, roads are highways to hell. There's a fatal traffic accident waiting to happen every second at every corner of every road. Picture each car as a coffin on wheels. Bottom line: Your number may be up much sooner than you think. Belie that, playa!

Demon

"By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence, and thou hast sinned: therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire."
- Ezekiel 28:16

U, VW

What kinda wheels do you dodgers (don't ask me, it just sounds nice) drive? A bug? I mean, a beetle? That'd be cool, innit? Volkswagen's tagline goes "small but tough". Hmm...'small but tough', huh? I could use that to describe many other things. Hey, mister (i.e. me, lah)! You better watch your sexual innuendos!

Easy Reader

Class, today we'll be learning about the different types of ancient Egyptian symbols and their purported meanings - starting with 'chicken sausage in a bowl (to be consumed with chopsticks)', and then moving on to others...

Into the Blue

5Up and rising: The big time and fast track ain't far from reach for this DARK ANGEL-turned-America's sweetheart.

Babe watch! Former FLIPPER star Jessica (Marie) Alba is the hottest young Hollywood actress today. If you've seen her in the title motion picture (or seen her getting punk'd on MTV), then you'll know what I mean.

I'm not one who usually gushes about Caucasian chicks, but this 34-24-34 Maxim and FHM cover girl is totally 'off the chain' (as one Josh Matthews would put it).
(Jessica Trivia: The 25-year-old California native is a PADI-certified scuba diver.)

More 'Sky Angel' posts coming soon!

Electric-O

! An infinitesimal amount of electric charge can bring about an unforeseen current surge, resulting in one of our century's worst electrical storms. It's called the 'Butterfly Effect'. (Yeah, kinda like that Ashton Kutcher movie.) !

Siam KiTCHEN

Great World City's Siam KiTCHEN cites the following as its 'chef-recommended' speciality: (1) Gang Keaw Wan (or Green Curry Chicken) (2) Rad Prig (or Deep-Fried Garoupa Fish with Sweet Chilli Sauce) (3) Kao Phad Supparos Talay (or Pineapple Fried Rice with Seafood) (4) Kao Niao Ma Muang (or Fresh Mango Slices with Sweet Sticky Rice). Arloi dee!

But when I was there this afternoon (at approximately 4.30 p.m.), the place was closed. (I didn't realize that their opening hours were 11.30 a.m. - 3 p.m. for lunch and 6 to 10 p.m. for dinner :-S)

Super Mario Bros

This dumb cluck knows next to nothing about 'interactive entertainment' (i.e. computer and video games), but back when TV sets and wired consoles were the only hardware in town, Nintendo's SUPER MARIO BROS was the order of the day. I would skip meals and play the game to the best of my ability (although completing it was virtually impossible). And I didn't like Luigi.

I Love Eggs!

Like, who doesn't? You must be a minority not to. (Why, if that isn't one weird-ass way to end a sentence...) Anyhow, I best love eggs when they're scrambled and fried - followed by when they're hard-boiled and stewed. What's your favorite, then?

ba-li-ba

Recently opened ba-li-ba (as in 'Bali Bar'?) has the distinction of being the only pub located on the ground floor of Orchard Towers (right beside the security counter) - but what difference does it make?

Russell Peters in Da House!

"Aye, what's up? You guys alright? I see some Indians in the audience. You're here for the free taping, aren't you? You cheap bastards."

Fahrenheit 90.0

The hot spell has again hit our little sunny island ("set in the sea"). Equatorial heat may be a major pull factor for tourists vacationing in Singapura, but for folks who live here it's the biggest turn-off.

Go Catty

"Meow! We felines are the world's smartest and most sentient species. We even outsmart you stupid humans, who think we are your so-called 'pets', when it is you who are our 'slaves'. Now go fetch our food and clean up our poop!"

Forever Young

Born Amita Marie Young, 25-year-old singer-model-actress Tata Young - yes, 'sexy, naughty, bitchy' her! - is to Thailand what Coco Lee is to (the rest of) Asia, or Beyonce is to America. Something like that. At age 11, she won a nationwide junior singing competition. By 15, she was already her country's biggest pop sensation. Her debut English album I Believe released in 2004 featured the same-titled track performed by contestants from both seasons of SINGAPORE IDOL - Daphne Khoo and Jasmine Tye.

FRIGHT NIGHT

5Hocus Bogus: Make-believe priest-cum-vampire slayer Peter Vincent (the late Roddy McDowall) raises a crucifix before an unholy presence whilst his 'apprentice' Charles Brewster (William Ragsdale) watches on.

The eighties witnessed an emergence of would-be classic horror franchises like FRIDAY THE 13TH, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and HELLRAISER - among others. One such movie that didn't quite achieve franchise status, but which I really dug, was the cult vampire flick FRIGHT NIGHT.
It was scary, funny and - above all - entertaining. Oh yeah, it was also educational in its exposition on the whole vampire mythology.

Ice Box

What do you store in your refrigerator's freezer compartment (other than the occasional hacked up body parts)? You'll likely find durians in mine - yeah, I know how disgusting that is - due to my mom's undying passion for the tropical King of Fruits.

Wishy Washy

Late last night, Bandito Desperado tried to burglarize this discount electrical store. He was spotted by security and hid in this front-loading washing machine. Skali the thing came on by itself and turned our friend into a perfect blend of blood, plasma and other vital fluids. Eww!

Teresa Teng (1953 - 1995)

How we miss you so...



http://www.teresateng.com/

Let's Cook Something!

Leak the gas (what?). Light the fire. Time to whip up a storm (what what??) with this brand new kitchen stove. Ours' something similar, but with only three burners - I think. We've never used the said appliance before, as pointed out in an earlier entry (dated January 23), for fear of staining it with oil and grease and whatnot. That's another white elephant right there.

Portrait of the Past

Victorian fashion's all about the corsets and the bodices, isn't it? (Jane Austen comes to mind.) These things are so bloody tight-fitting it's amazing the wearers could breathe at all - let alone heave their bosoms. But what to do? The price of aristocracy is a heavy one. Aren't we glad the days of pride and prejudice are over?

Mister A

A is for Astute. A is for Aspiring. A is for Alan. That's my name and blogging's my game.

East Ocean Teochew Restaurant

Took this obsessive-compulsive shutterbug several rides up and down the mechanical stairs at Shaw Centre to get this shot right. It's not easy when there are so many pairs of eyes looking at you and probably wondering what a loony you are.

Big Daddy Cool

For a few years in the early-to-mid nineties, the (then) World Wrestling Federation was running on pure DIESEL power. A seven-foot-tall KEVIN NASH, who had just paid his dues as Shawn Michaels' ringside bodyguard, was breaking out on his own. I remember him Jackknifing Bob Backlund at Madison Square Garden to claim his first WWF Championship - and in record time, mind you! Here, he's celebrating a WrestleMania victory with Pamela Anderson.

Charlie's Angels?

You could pay me quadruple the ticket price and I still wouldn't touch this POC with a ten-foot bamboo pole. I mean, three affected wannabes - okay, maybe two, since Donnie Yen's got some substance - acting all 'macho machismo' and stuff? Gimme a break, already!

tcc

Firdaus seemed to think - in fact, she was utterly convinced - that credit company TCC Limited is affiliated with coffee connoisseur tcc. For the record, one makes brew and the other makes you bankrupt!

Spare Change

Well, first of all, Blogger blows! Big time! For the past god-knows-how-many hours, I haven't been able to get a single photo uploaded here. It kept saying 'error on page'. What's the story on this, guys? Some bug bit you? Blew my uploading limit? Should I just get some spare change from the Mustafas and buy over your shitty system? You suck.

Baadasssss!

"Yo man, there are muthaf*ckin' snakes on this muthaf*ckin' plane!"

City Hall

Singapore's Swissotel The Stamford (formerly Westin Stamford) used to be the tallest hotel in the world (that Guinness bit really put us on the map). It's now ranked sixth (relegation's a bitch). At 226 meters, it's also the sixth tallest building in Singapore.

Hypnosis

Feeling giddy yet?

Battle of the Monsters

Happening tonight, at Westlake Village, California, two of silver screen's most fearsome and iconic monsters - King Kong and Godzilla - will lock horns in a 'Loser Leaves Town' mega-showdown. This celebrity grudge match - five decades in the making - has no rules, no referee and no mouthguard: the only way to win is to bite your opponent senseless until it submits to defeat. Start booking your seats now, fanboys!

Penny Tai

Malaysian singer-songwriter penny tai, now 28 (same age as her Singaporean counterpart Stefanie Sun), has a longtime fan-slash-admirer in moi. I mean, the lady's amazing: not only does she composes (i.e. providing both lyrics and melody to) all the tracks in her albums, she also does the music arrangement in addition to supervising the entire production process. Now, that's what we call talent!

Early Childhood Education

To become a registered childcare or kindergarten teacher in Singapore, one must undergo at least a Certificate (if not Diploma) in Pre-School Teaching course.

To qualify for this MOE and MCYS accredited program, one must possess at least three GCE 'O' Level credits (including English)...
Pardon the prattling; it's called 'occupational hazard' :-P

Diversity | Unity

Since there's still about an hour to go before National Day's officially over, let me try to squeeze one more propaganda-fueled post here. Based on an islandwide census conducted in 2000 (source: CIA - The World Fact Book), 76.8% of Singapore's (now estimated 4.5 million) population are Chinese, 13.9% are Malay, 7.9% are Indian, and 1.4% are 'others' (ref: LOST). Let's see, I've dated Chinese, Indian and almost did Eurasian. Shall I try Malay next? Hee!

Mirror, Mirror...

"Father! Oh, Father! Please do not forsake me! Please make me beautiful again. Do not leave me looking like this. I beg of you, Father. You are the Prince of Darkness, surely there must be something you can do..."

Come See the Gazebos

It's the nation's birthday and a public holiday, but guess wort? I have to work today. That just sucks. Be sure I'll be spending most of my time staring at this clock tower outside Shaw House - that's where our road show is - and counting down to the NDP. Ugh.

HAPPY 41st NATIONAL DAY!

We, the citizens of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one united people
Regardless of race, language or religion
To build a democratic society
Based on justice and equality
So as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation

BOOGIE NIGHTS

If you haven't seen Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS, then you don't know what you're missing. If you've seen it and don't like it, then you're not a movie lover. That's all I have to say.
This is not a porn movie per se. It's a movie about the porn industry. Comprende?

Ride with Me

We know there is a child in each and every one of us. I have chums and colleagues who dress up Blythe dolls and have 'tea parties' with teddy bears. Nothing wrong with that at all. But what if you descry a full-grown adult riding alone on one of these mini-carousel/merry-go-round thingies? What will be the first thought that crosses your mind? Will you feel impeled to call IMH? Or will you partake in the fun and laughter? I am losing my verve...

Ashes 2 Ashes

It's the Seventh Lunar Month (one year ago this time THE MAID was screening in theaters). The Gates of Hell are open and hungry ghosts roam our streets.
To appease these lonely and restless spirits, we burn incense, hell money and paper effigies...

5...but there are specially designated areas (SDAs) to do that.

5This 'well' right here's one of them. (Don't worry, Sadako won't be climbing out anytime soon.)

5If we don't keep to the SDAs, this is what our pavements will look like.

Be considerate, people! Kamsiah!

Superband Born!

Congratulations to the 'pattern-more-than-badminton' trio of Mi Lu Bing (Milo Ice!) for becoming Singapore's first ever Superband!

Fish 'n' Chips

Could this be my final food-related blog entry here on Photo Finish? Possibly! I've been invited to join (as a contributor) a fantabulous food blog ('flog'??) ingeniously christened I Eat Therefore I am (thanks, Thanh!), which is really flattering since I can't tell caviar from calamari. In any case, I may be posting such entries over there hereinafter. I've yet to break the egg, so to speak, but hope to do so very soon!

What Do T-Shirts Say (This Time)?

If we didn't know better, we'd think a 'friendly neighborhood service station' refers to one of the following:
(1) An all-in-one beauty spa-lon operated by Madam Suzie Wong.
(2) A police post where more shirts than charges are pressed.
(3) A community centre where residents can air their grievances (along with dirty laundry) to patient and empathetic grassroots leaders.
Good job, SPC!

Now You See Her...

A beautiful holographic image of Bryce Dallas Howard (captured at the entrance of Eng Wah Suntec), who plays an enigmatic 'narf' character named Story in M. Night Shyamalan's fantasy-mystery LADY IN THE WATER. Though roundly panned by critics (and even shunned by his own fans), you gotta give the guy some brownie points for originality. Tartutics own! See Scrunt run! And Cindy Cheung's hot (in a Sandra Ng sort of way).

Miss Hancock

MTV Asia VJ Denise Keller may be no former WWE valet Stacy Keibler, but which big-time wheeler-dealer doesn't want a PA like her working on...I mean, working *for* him?

Cheezed

That's it! I've had just about enough of this Marvel bull. Why is it that the other Fantastic Four members are given such funky names as Mr. Fantastic (he's just a wimp), Invisible Woman (half the time she ain't even there!) and Human Torch (the guy's a total hothead) whereas I'm simply called...'The Thing'?!

Bikes

Oh, what an uninspired title! They say once you learn how to ride a bicycle, you never forget. They are right. I remember first learning how to ride one while serving guard duty back in my Peirce Ammo Depot days - or rather, nights. It was undoubtedly a daunting experience, but I only had my 'prowling partner' William Tay, who was then my coach, to thank :-)

Suntec Sky Garden

Before meeting Mr. Fong for our 'bedtime story' last Sunday, I sauntered out to the above open space, which I hadn't been to for quite sometime, and snapped these couple of photos. The Chinese see (running) water as a symbol of wealth; the NEA, I'm afraid, regards still H2O as a fertile breeding ground for Aedes mozzies (*bzz*).