BAYSIDE SHAKEDOWN

5Order in chaos: Detective Aoshima (Yuji Oda) tries to get to the bottom of a series of bizarre crimes, but finds himself up against bureaucratic red tape.

An unidentified corpse is found floating in the middle of the river. The soon-to-retire Police Commissioner is kidnapped during one of his early morning jogs. A morbid Internet site may be the home to a deranged serial killer. Personal items go mysteriously missing in the Bayside precinct station. The hard-nosed Metropolitan Police Department, meanwhile, crashes the party and takes over all prevailing investigations...

With so many things transpiring concurrently, one can hardly keep up! Yet, Japanese blockbuster BAYSIDE SHAKEDOWN is so much joy to watch. It's funny and touching, satirical and suspenseful, and - most of all - an engrossing roller-coaster ride from start to finish!

Looks Scrumptious, Tastes Like Shit - the Sequel

When I felt really slothful one fine evening after overtime at work (I think I flagged a cab home), I decided it was ma's turn to buy dinner. And so she did. But dinner sucked. I don't know where she got it from (and not to sound unappreciative), but it was so bad it should belong in the dumpster. Well, better luck next time!

The Magic Truck

The Magic Truck drives itself from the farmer's fruit garden to the busy marketplace (while the farmer himself is busy making out with the mayor's wife at the barn). It ferries fruits like apples, oranges, pineapples and watermelons, but that's not the real story. The couple is caught in the act by their neighbors and becomes the talk of the town. The mayor orders an inquest into the affair and divorces the tramp. The farmer, equally guilty, gets run over by the Magic Truck. That's the end of the story.

R-rated Superstar

When Edge cashed in on his Money in the Bank briefcase last January at New Year's Revolution, he knew exactly what he was gunning for - and got it. Reigning WWE Champion John Cena, who barely survived a grueling six-man Elimination Chamber match moments ago, found himself at the receiving end of not one, but two, vicious and spine-crushing Spears from the 'R-rated Superstar'. Here, he's flanked by real-life girlfriend Lita, who may be close to experiencing certain 'wardrobe malfunction'.

Sure Win??

With a fail-safe combi like this, how can one not win?? Then again, I suppose it depends on what game you're playing?
Will it work with, say, Snakes and Ladders? I doubt so...

The Montana

Montana is a state in the Pacific Northwest and Great Plains regions of the United States. The Montana is a 12-storey freehold condominium sited along Jalan Mutiara, off River Valley Road (and very close to the Orchard shopping belt).

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Amenities include high-speed Internet access, swimming pool, open-air gym, barbecue area and playground.

Am I working for Knight Frank??

YOUR Singapore Idol - Hady Mirza

You gave him wings!

Shelbie Bruce

Dunno much about this young & pretty performer, except that she had a small part in James L. Brooks' SPANGLISH. So I ran a check on her (on where else but IMDb) and guess what? She was only in SPANGLISH!

Letz Go Cycling!

Siang wanna join wah go ECP cycle this weekend? So long never cycle liao. Really miss that shiok feeling of cruising down Sunset Boulevard...wait! I must be daydreaming here! Someone wake me up, please!

My Mandy

She may not look like it, but come October 4 Mandy Tan will be five years old. (That's about 35 in cat years!) She's been with our family since the beginning - when we were still staying in Tanjong Pagar. 'Abducted' her from the Duxton Plain Park one afternoon while playing badminton with my ex, got her spayed and fed the fussy princess fresh prawns. Heh heh.

LOST 3

Are there anymore secrets to 'Gilligan's Island'? Can Sawyer get any hotter and hunkier than he already is? What did 'Henry Gale' mean when he said "we are the good guys"? Who are 'The Others', anyways? And why is Michael such a pain in the ass?
All these blazing questions could be answered in the brand new season of ABC's hit prime-time TV series LOST. So stay tuned!

What Sick Puppy Had for His Lunch

When I was down with food poisoning and puking pigs a few days ago (not to mention having one of my worst diarrhoeas in years), all I could consume were wonton noodles ($2.00) and beancurd jelly ($0.60). Even then, I only managed to 'scrape the tip of the iceberg'. Poor me :`(

Dakshna

My newfound friend Dakshna, who's a classmate and colleague of my godsis Caroline, posing in her seemly saree on her 21st birthday (which was when, ah? :-X)

Stonehenge

"The Devil bought the stones from a woman in Ireland, wrapped them up, and brought them to Salisbury plain. One of the stones fell into the Avon, the rest were carried to the plain. The Devil then cried out, 'No-one will ever find out how these stones came here'. A friar replied, 'That's what you think!', whereupon the Devil threw one of the stones at him and struck him on the heel. The stone stuck in the ground and is still there."

More (Male) Toilet Art

In line with the Singapore government's initiative to make our city-state more hip and trendy (so as to keep abreast of ever-changing times), heartland malls like Bishan Junction 8 are starting to 'open up' by introducing theme-related restrooms. This particular one specifies you have to be a punk-ass rocker in order to enter. Headphones and nose-piercing are available nearby.

JAWS

5The Ultimate Killing Machine: Amity police chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider) comes face-to-face with the fearsome and ferocious carcharodon carcharias (AKA the Great White).

"The thing about a shark - he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at you, he doesn't seem to be living. Until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white. And then you hear that terrible high-pitched screaming. The ocean turns red, and despite all the pounding and the hollering, they all come in and they rip you to pieces."

Cathay Comic Series

Checked out the new Cathay Building at 2 Handy Road (next to Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station) earlier this month (fellow operator Golden Village's ninth cineplex VivoCity, by the way, will be opening for business soon!).
Since I was there, I also took these6snapshots.

Woman: I don't care! I'm taking Godzilla 'cos it's on sale!

Man: It's also on fire. Look.

Shrink: So how much have you spent on shopping alone this month?
Patient: Don't look at me like that. It's not like I robbed anyone.

"So many shoes, so little time."

Waiter: Would you like a Burgundy or Brachetto?
Woman: Hun...
Man: Hmm?

Cubby

"Teddy bear, teddy bear - turn around.

Teddy bear, teddy bear - touch the ground.

Teddy bear, teddy bear - shake your hips.

Teddy bear, teddy bear - blow a kiss."

- Adapted by Jack Hartmann

YouTube

Yours truly is a YouTube hound and here are some of my fave vids:

1. Movie clips / trailers
2. Celebrity interviews
3. Political rallies
4. Al Qaeda training videos
5. Paris Hilton's sexual trysts

You buy all that??

CCTV?

If you ask me, the only startlingly 'suspicious' thing here is to use a picture of a 1959 Nikon F in place of closed circuit television. You call that a 'security camera', chief? Call the cops right away!

Giants - Past & Present

Standing at an imposing 6 ft 10 in and weighing 540 lb, the deceased Andre the Giant (top left) was once dubbed 'The Eighth Wonder of the World'. Towering over Andre is current ECW 'extremist' The Big Show (top right). At 7 ft and 504 lb, the latter is billed by WWE as the largest professional athlete in the world today.

I.M.F.

If you think 'I.M.F.' here stands for International Monetary Fund (Singapore 2006!), think again. It's actually 'Interesting Makeshift Flowers' (I know it sounds dumb). Interesting in the sense that (A) these flowers (lining Orchard Road) were planted only...what, a fortnight ago?, and that (B) they were planted specially for the high-profile IMF / World Bank summit...

Coffee Club

COFFEE CLUB (SINGAPORE) - Now Enrolling New Members!

Criterion: Must know the difference between Espresso and Fabuloso.

Age Limit: Not an issue - as long as you can urinate whatever you drink.

Special Requirement: Bi-monthly face-2-face smoochies! (See logo above)

Registration Fee(s): 350 sterling pounds (per day).

Closing Date: December 31st, 2010.

Vivian Hsu

There are surefire shortcuts to stardom in Taiwan. Take a leaf from Shu Qi. She was a nobody in showbiz. Then she took her clothes off. Now she's somebody. This is not a sexist statement. Nudity will get you somewhere, somehow. Oops! I thought this was Photo Finish X-Treme! Paiseh. Anyway, Vivian Hsu's got her work cut out for her. She, too, was a never-heard-of. After appearing in a slew of AVs, her film and music careers were simultaneously launched. I think I should stop?

Forbidden City

In spite of an impromptu 'emergency meeting' called by the ever-concerned Chairman/CEO (due to decidedly lackluster sales for the month of September), Allan 'The Boy' Ang still managed to present himself at the Forbidden City musical @ The Esplanade (AKA 'The Two Durians') in the nick of time. Phew!

56The Dick Lee production stars erstwhile recording artist Kit Chan as Empress Dowager Cixi. (No, I can't envision it, either.)

5Look! The tix are even complimentary!

Dahble Roast

It was hard work striding the city streets as roving CCF ambassadors (all the more so when those darn cynics thought we were con men!), so when it came to giving ourselves a half-time lunch treat I didn't settle for anything less. What more could one ask for than a palatable plate of roast duck-cum-roast pork rice? Loved it!

Ground Zero

5 years ago...

5Acts of Terror: The World Trade Center in New York City set ablaze by the head-on collisions of two hijacked airliners. 2,973 people died when the Twin Towers eventually collapsed into a pile of smoke, ash and debris.

5 years later...?

5Standing Proud: Freedom Tower, when completed, will be the tallest building in the United States.

Tito's Sombrero

After crooning the celebrated folk song Viva La Rasa for the past 28 years(!), aging Mexican mariachi Tito Concerto decides to hang up his trademark red sombrero for good. Say, one must be so blasé (read: bo liao) to think up something like this...

Moooo!

Why's Movenpick Marché Restaurant so fond of using cows as their mascots? Are they supposed to rake in the cash? Or does it mean USDA prime beef (from the finest corn-fed cattle) is served in the basement? There's only one way to find out!

Who Is Henry Gale?

When mysterious island inhabitant 'Henry Gale' first appeared in LOST, he was ensnared in a booby trap set by Danielle Rousseau. I pitied the man when he was shot and wounded by the said 'crazy Frenchwoman'. But when he was later revealed to be one of 'The Others' (and a significant one, too), I was flabbergasted. In essence, 'Henry Gale' exists amongst all of us. They would be those people we trustfully allow into our lives, unaware of their hidden agendas - that is, until the truth smacks us in the face. So, do you know any 'Henry Gale'?

Attap House

Never lived in a kampung before (have you?). Never seen how a real attap house looks like (have you?). Guess this one sorta gives me an idea. Wonder if there are any on Pulau Ubin (pardon my ignorance). Should start reading up on anthropolgy...

Kucinta

Singapura Cat
(Derogatorily known as 'Drain Cat')

Alternative Music

The Boston Symphony Orchestra meets...Stomp??

OUT!

I WANT YA OUTTA MA FACE. I WANT YA OUTTA MA ROOM. I WANT YA OUTTA MA HOUSE. I WANT YA OUTTA MA LIFE. YA STOOPID MOZZIE. BUZZ OFF! SHOO!

New Moon Rising

Now, this is something you don't see every day - a car chockful of canned abalone (come again?). Are the sponsors so generous as to give away all these succulent shellfish plus the roadster, or has New Moon spokesperson Fann Wong (who's probably moved on to pitching sea cucumbers) decided to donate her stockpile?

MULAN

It may come as a surprise to many here when I say MULAN is my most beloved Disney cartoon rendered by the traditional cell-painting method. Two-dimensional animation, for better or worse, had since been replaced by cutting-edge computer generated imagery. Soon, movies like MULAN and SPIRITED AWAY will belong in museums and film actors like Al Pacino and Eddie Murphy will join picket lines outside Social Services.

Laksa

Apart from Hainanese chicken rice (my all-time favorite!), the other 'uniquely Singaporean' dish, I presume, would be Peranakan laksa (this one's priced at $4.00). I prefer chor bee hoon (thick rice noodles) and lots of hum (cockles). Looking at the sliced fish cake and fried beancurd is enough to make me salivate, man!

Feeling Lucky?

Feel Lady Luck's been smiling on you a lot lately? Come to this Western Bar (you tumbleweeds remember that outmoded 1990 Casio handheld game, doncha?) and try your hand at Blackjack and Dai Dee. (Strip Poker's banned, by the way.) For wager, the house accepts (1) the Sheriff's badge (2) sixty-six gold bullions (3) your little pinky (Yakuza style!).

Ha Ri-su

Few biological women (ahem) - Korean or Japanese - are as exquisitely beautiful as famous Asian transexual Ha Ri-su (born Lee Kyung-eun). Zhang Fei of Taiwan's VARIETY BIG BROTHER, for one, is a huge fan-cum-admirer of hers and often invites her to his hit TV show. Personally, I don't think Ha Ri-su stacks up there with the likes of Jang Nara or Jeon Ji-hyun, but juxtaposed against the bapoks (Adam's Apple alert!) at Orchard Towers...

5Cover scan from Ha Ri-su's self-titled fourth album (released in January 2006).