Window of Opportunities

"A window of opportunity won't open itself."
- Dave Weinbaum, the 'One-line Philosopher'

"You'll have to pry it open with a crowbar."
- Alan Tan, a one-time housebreaker

THE WEDDING SINGER

5"You can do it!": Robbie Hart will need advice from Rob Schneider while smarting from his heartbreak.

SNL alum Adam Sandler has made a career out of largely making slapstick movies that please fans but offend critics. Farces likes BIG DADDY and THE WATERBOY scorched the box office with US$100 million in receipts but fell way short of being certified fresh by Rotten Tomatoes.
THE WEDDING SINGER, on the other hand, was a sweet and earnest effort that showed the soft (as opposed to snide) side of Slacker Sandler. That final scene on the plane with him strumming a guitar and crooning Grow Old with You to his love Drew Barrymore had me won over good.

Clock | Radio

Say "sayonara" to my antiquated Aiwa CSD-A190, which went kaput on me, and hail "aloha" to my new Philips AJ3121. It's got a digiclock display, FM radio and a really shrill alarm - and it cost only $29.00! I'm a sucker for cheap and simple commodities :-D

Hokka Hokka Tei

"Hokka Hokka Tei is a bento take-out chain with over 2,000 franchises and company-owned branches throughout Japan. It offers a variety of dishes, generally over rice, at relatively low prices" (much akin to the Taiwanese bian dang). Kopitiam @ Plaza Singapura has such an outlet (the dumplings aren't part of the meal set), although it must be noted that the salad was stale and the orange slices, well, sour -_-

Alien Abduction

We've seen it umptillion times on TV and in the movies: Little green (slimy?) men with laser guns visit your home (the way you wish the God of Fortune would), abduct you in your sleep (or their hovering spaceship can beam you straight up from your bed) and perform experiments on your body (which may involve probes and chips inserted into your brain), before sending you back with your memory erased. Sounds familiar?

Drago

Ever since Dragon World reverted to its ramshackle Haw Par Villa state, poor Drago has lost his relevance. Relocated to the Asian Civilisations Museum at Empress Place, the Antlered One now guards over Kangxi's exhibition chambers, making sure no one does a Thomas Crown Affair with those precious artifacts.

Willis' Trophy Wife

What a lucky sonofagun, this Bruce! The 54-year-old DIE HARD star actually wedded 30-year-old Malta-born British lingerie model Emma Heming. Doesn't she take after a young Demi Moore? It's obvious he prefers brunettes.

From Saigon with Love

"Dear Phuong, please you must wait to me at Hanoi Red River. Tonight I will come my nice motorbike from Saigon and we elope at China plantation far away to our father mother. Love, Thinh."

No Guy Fawkes?

So Soichi Negishi of DETROIT METAL CITY has found his mask, what about V of V FOR VENDETTA?

Little Miss Pouty

Realized I haven't done an Enard Sia post for aeons, so here it is (for those who can't get enough of Eilleen's sister). Don't ask me why she's pucking her lips; my guess is Little Miss Pouty here's waiting for that special someone to 'sek sek' her.

XOXO

The Magic School Bus

Wahoo! Welcome to Scholastic's Family Playground! Join Ms. Frizzle and her class (what's the chameleon's name again?) as they explore the wonderful world of children's stories. Shall we start with Chris Onstad's Achewood?

Keys on the Wall

For this frequent misplacer of house keys, an 'S' hook like this, which is strategically gou-ed onto my aircon remote holder beside my door and light switch, does wonders and saves rummage time. It's frustration no more! Take a leaf, Szu Kiong ;-)

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

(From left): Kimberly, Billy, Jason, Zack and Tommy. Sounds like names of a buncha tweens you'd invite over for a pajama party.

JIMMY'Z

WONDERING WHY WE'VE BEEN HEARING LESS AND LESS OF JIMMY THE FUNDRAISING EXECUTIVE? WELL, THE C-TOWN LOAFER'S BEEN KEEPING A LO-PRO LATELY BY CATCHING MORE Z'S IN HIS BACKWATER CARAVAN. IS THERE A PROBLEM?

Knolls

Say, doesn't this empty cardboard egg tray (made out of recycled paper) resemble the surface of the Atlantic seabed on a sonar scan? Yesh, I obviously have a knack for making mountains out of molehills.

Ariel Lin

Whether she's covering Ocean Ou's Lonely Northern Hemisphere or portraying Huang Rong in THE LEGEND OF THE CONDOR HEROES, 26-year-old Formosan actress-singer Ariel Lin is the perfect poster girl for sprightly vitality by virtue of her wholesome-as-wholemeal-bread image.

P/S: A lil' too 'fleshy' for my liking, though :-P

The (Old) Supreme Court

One of our Republic's most iconic and recognizable monuments stands proudly along Stamford Road, presiding over the Padang, and looks absolutely resplendent at the dawn of dusk.

Forecat

As if an intrinsic attribute, Ma-dame Mandy on a Saturnoon (read: Saturday afternoon) takes great pride and pleasure in playing 'eye-power' supervisor for the SERS construction site.

The World Islands

If you ask me, this up-for-sale man-made archipelago of 300 islets off the coast of Dubai, U.A.E., is even more of a modern-world wonder than Nakeel Properties' own magnificent Palm Islands project. Simply breathtaking and unbelievable!
Fanks to Li Fei for sending me the link :-D

Diary of a Failed Rock Musician

Nixed from both WOMAD and WOMEX, this aspiring rocker tong kim has no choice but to bury the hatchet with his Brand's® Brilliant Brain contest rival Utt Panichkul so as to land a gig on the latter's LIVE 'N' LOADED. Si beh cham.

From Fresh to Fried

Who knew these freshly cropped shiitake mushrooms could be transformed into such tantalizing crisps of fungi?

Between you, me and the tartar sauce, this popular Taiwanese snack's well worth the scrilla spent~

CIM UK

At the rate that we're selling their (certificate and diploma) programs, the Chartered Institute of Marketing (United Kingdom) may promulgate us CMI (cannot make it) sooner than later. Sorry Cheemooks, we let you (and the state of Illinois) down!

Once U Start, U Can't Stop

An addictive tub of Japanese potato strips coated with chilli powder and monosodium glutamate courtesy of the thoughtful Xiao Kel who'd just returned from her trip to the Land of a Thousand Smiles. Divvied up with the Indian-Iranian-Arab-Pakistani DocGan and her ever-accommodating 'landlord'. We want more! :-D

Barbie Blank

This real-life Barbie doll may appear to be staring blankly into space here (zonked out from all the late-night partying?), but Barbara Jean 'Barbie' Blank (better known as Kelly Kelly to the greater WWE Universe) is hardly another dumb blonde. Or is she?

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"And I Will Strike Down Upon Thee..."

"...with a candy cane should there be anymore 'jerky halts' and disrupted train services!"

East Is East

Do funkey monkeys traverse all the way to the Far (Downtown) East just to play Bushel Basket? Hard to say. Not everyone may be as adventurous as Bidor Mei, we reckon. The Santa Fe circus carnival has come to D'Marquee!

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THE X-FILES

X Long before forensic specialists Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows investigated crime scenes in Las Vegas, FBI special agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully scoured the country for clues to unravel the Big Conspiracy. X-Philes will remember Assistant Director Walter Skinner, the mysterious Cigarette Smoking Man and the renegade Lone Gunmen. They also won't likely forget Home (#4.2), which was about a family of inbreeders in the American heartland (and the first episode of the series to be rated PG). X

Shadow People

It's there (by the clothes stand behind me) when I'm at my desk typing on the computer. It's there again (in the mirror before me) when I'm on my bed doing sit-ups. A shadowy flicker from the corner of my eye that's never in the light, yet never out of sight. What is it? Spooky is what. "Shadow people are supernatural shadow-like creatures of both modern folklore and traditional native American beliefs. According to folklore, they appear as dark forms in the peripheries of people's vision and disintegrate, or move between walls, when noticed". Seen one lately?

P/S: That's precisely why I sleep with the light on.

House of Peranakan Cuisine

The House of Peranakan Cuisine is itself housed within Pan Pacific Orchard, which used to be Meritus Negara (AKA Gina's Nap Place), at Claymore Drive. Snapped this photo on a drizzly Monday morning while waiting to unload post-exhibition inventory from Skyven's car with Lincoln (AKA Gina's godson).

Egg Milkcurd with Longan

Never knew such a dessert existed until we chanced upon it at the sweltry Maxwell Food Centre. Soft, smooth and sweet (with shaved ice below). Almost like pudding. Except with 'dragon eyes'.

A PERFECT MURDER

5Something's amiss: Adulterous Emily Taylor (Gwyneth Paltrow) senses her husband and (part-time) lover may be in together on a plot.

David Shaw (Viggo Mortensen): Now what?
Steven Taylor (Michael Douglas): Choices. I can tell Emily who you are, and life will imitate art. You become a starving painter, game over.

DS: Or?

ST: Or you can cash out.

DS: Cash out?

ST: Half a million dollars. Tax-free.

DS: Just for walking away from her?

ST: I said 'tax-free'. I didn't say 'free'.

DS: What's the 500 grand for?

ST: Killing my wife.

It's Finally Come to This

Since all previous warnings to perverse ah peks from wizzing in public lifts fell on deaf ears, it's time now to mete out some heavy-duty surveillance and hopefully disciplinary action. Gotcha!

Good for Mobs

the home team's last line of defense against unruly edison muggers

Fido's Fashion

From pitching Phonics courses over the phone to plugging Paris Hilton garments online, entrepreneurial expectant mom Firdaus Hassan has now launched her own cyber shop and, as her doting former abang, I'm doing this advert for her gratis!

Arts Pavilion

'Desensitized' from pushing postcards to 400,000 zombified strangers, Tie-less Tan decided to get shutterbuggish in lieu of enrolments. That First Media lad's vertical caricatures were quite laudable, and I was told they're all trainers! Phwah!

Say 'NO' to Drugs!

I remember Mark Callaway once said "there's no hope with dope". Indeed, for substance abuse and drug addiction can be really hard to kick. Going cold turkey while enduring the painful withdrawal symptoms is closer to death than anything, no?

Poor Merlie

"With exports down, jobs disappearing and the economy in the doldrums, we need more bad news like we need a hole in the head. So what does Mother Nature do? It zaps the Merlion, leaving Singapore's iconic symbol with, well, a hole in the head. Coincidence? Bad omen? Mother Nature's sick sense of humor? Why zap the Merlion? Why the head, of all places? Why now?

"As can be expected of superstitious Singaporeans, chatrooms have since been abuzz about the significance of the 2/28 incident. Doomsayers are convinced that the hit, which took a chunk off the Merlion's crown, is a bad omen." (Paraphrased from the Internet)

P/S: Hope she doesn't have to greet tourists with a bandage on her head.

Free & Shared

Dragon Inn Lady with Jasmine flower in her hair came aknockin' on our door and kept pestering us to place orders for her chow mein, which she would deliver straight to our boothstep. Pictured is lunch-boxed Dan Dan La Mian (sold at $3.00), paid for by SK and partaken with AA. Oily at the bottom, but when you're famished...

Anil Kapoor

Loveleen Tandan couldn't have cast a better (or more suitable) actor than the supremely charismatic Anil Kapoor to play Kaun Banega Crorepati host Prem Kumar in SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE - unless, of course, she managed to secure the services of King Khan himself.

Extravenous

xiǎolóngbāo souped beyond proportion...

KOOC

Koochi koo! Guess how many are boy heads and how many are girl heads! Too easy? How about how many dark-colored leaves and how many light-colored leaves? Too difficult? Koochi kani koo!

The British Bulldog

The late Davey Boy Smith, a graduate of Stu Hart's legendary Dungeon (of Wrestling) in Calgary, was one of the deftest mat technicians his sport had ever seen. The crowning moment of the Bulldog's career must certainly be his epic SummerSlam '92 encounter with real-life brother-in-law (and then reigning Intercontinental Champion) Bret Hart at the 80,355-strong Wembley Stadium in London, where an electrified hometown crowd bore witness to his hard-earned victory over the equally accomplished Hitman. Where's Matilda?

Water Cooler Convo

Auditor: So, did you catch the Pacers game last night?
Administrator: No, I was doing the laundry.
Auditor: What happened to the Vietcong girlfriend?
Administrator: Bailed out on me, for the third fucking time.
Auditor: Back with the rebels again, huh?
Administrator: What else is new? I wish she'd stay there and save me the misery.
Auditor: Well, you know what, I best be running. Happy sipping and, hey, all the best!

The Shrine

Fact file: The now-restored Nagore Durgha (originally known as Shahul Hamid Durgha) was built by the Muslims of Southern India from 1828 to 1830. SICCI is close by. And pardon the pithiness.

Kawaii Bentō

Sis' Japanese-style "home-made love in a box" (爱 心 便 当) specially crafted for her two porcupines. Hats off to her patience and meticulosity!