WHEEL OF FORTUNE

(Transcript obtained from an unusual, unaired taping of WOF)
Pat Sajak: I see you have an interesting name there, um, Mr. Aimer Stocker. Tell us more about yourself.

AS: I'm a stalker. I stalk people.

(PS looks amused)

PS: But, is that what you do for a living? I mean...
AS: I love you, Vanna White! I love your house!
(VW looks startled)
PS: O-kay, Mr. Stocker. Would like to spin the wheel and buy a vowel?
AS: I would really love to spin her skirt and buy her pant...

PS: Okay! We'll be right back! Or not.