Gargle & Spit

Dentist: Okay, Miss Tan...
Me: Er, 'mister'.
Dentist: Right. Of course. Ahem. I'm afraid I have some rather bad noos for you here. But you gotta promise me to stay calm, cool and collected. Can you do that?
Me: Hmm, okay. What is it, doctor?
Dentist: I'm a DENTIST, for cryin' out loud. DDS ain't the same ball park as MD, now is it?
Me: Sorry. My apologies. So what's the bad 'noos'?
Dentist: Your gums are rotting. And your teeth are falling out. Very soon you'll be needing dentures.
Me: WHAT?!
Dentist: Muahahahaha...