Toilet Training Tips

So you think proper toilet training is important for (and restricted to) pets? Wait till you see what hygienists have in stall for some of us habitual 'bowl abusers':

5Why? Afraid our flabby + sweaty fanny might create a vacuum against the rim of the seat until the suction causes us to get stuck?

5What if we're shitting and gettin' jiggy wit it at the same time?